


More than words

by justEvieC



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:26:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29695695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justEvieC/pseuds/justEvieC
Summary: A Ballum Deaf AUThis work picks up at the end of ‘EastEnders Season 1’, just at the beginning of the hiatus. It does take account of the pandemic, but not any national lockdowns.Ben has lost all his hearing following the gun incident in the warehouse job in Stratford. He has seen a doctor (at Jay’s behest) and his perforated eardrum will heal, but he will still suffer the same level of hearing loss as following the boat crash and head injury.He has not had the cochlear implant surgery.Callum does not know about the warehouse job (yet) but is just beginning his career as a police officer.Both are, to all intents and purposes, living together in the Highway flat, with Stuart and Rainie, who are not married when we begin the story.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

“Mornin’ bruv!” a very bright and chipper Stuart pertly declares the instant Callum emerges from the master bedroom. He happily slaps his brother on the back as a form of manly congratulations and Callum groggily rubs his eyes and squints blearily at Stuart from the doorway, wearing nothing but boxers and confusion. 

"Too much Stu. Too much. It's still early, and it’s my day off!” Callum insists, pulling on a t-shirt (which is slightly too small, and he eventually realises, through his sleepy haze, that it’s actually Ben’s, but he keeps it on anyway) and he makes his way towards the kettle for a much-needed caffeine injection. 

“Firstly, it’s nearly 10, lazy bones!” Stuart replies, with 'tut tut tut' and a wag of his finger. “And secondly, it’s just as well it’s your day off, given the time you two finally gave it up last night...well, this morning. You must be knackered!” Stuart raises his eyebrows and gives a small but noticeable wink in the direction of the puzzled man in the kitchen. The lack of sleep clearly addling his brain, Callum rubs his face in his hands, breathes in deeply but finally feels his cheeks redden and flush. Suddenly, he slaps his hand over his mouth, just as a gruff, morning voice calls from the bedroom behind, “Come back, babe! I’m not done with you, yet!” and Ben emerges (wearing a t-shirt that is slightly too big, and boxers to match), and Stuart greets him with both speech and sign, “Morning, Glory,” and a wink as subtle as a sledgehammer. Callum and Ben’s eyes meet, a mixture of shock and embarrassment spreading across Callum’s face, and he spins to face his brother and demands, 

"Anyway, how do you know what time we went to sleep?”  
“Well, you might be aware of how noisy you are, but he clearly isn’t!” Stuart directs to Ben and chuckles, making sure his words are clear and easy to read. Then he smiles and returns, happy as Larry, to his bowl of Frosties, leaving a flustered Callum holding a half-full kettle and trying desperately to cover his bare (newly toned) mid-drift. Still half in the land of dreams, and with unmistakeable bed hair, Ben struts proudly towards his boyfriend, pulling him in by the waist, wrapping his arms tight around him and planting soft, wet kisses on his neck. 

***

Finally emerging from the cocoon of their love-nest, the pair find the flat blissfully empty, but also empty of food and milk, so Callum decides on a trip to the Minute Mart – much to Ben’s annoyance and plenty of argument at preferring to stay in bed. 

As they stroll to the shops, Callum sees Ben’s eyes darting around, across the square, from one side of the road to the other. He grabs his hand to ground him, but Ben releases. Callum worries, his heart flutters, but he needn't, as Ben’s only released his boyfriend’s hand to use said hand to pinch his bum.  
“Oi, you!” Callum laughs, pulling him in for a quick kiss, Ben on his tippy-toes, before the pair head into the store. 

While Ben flicks through magazines, and picks out beer suitable for the moussaka planned for tea (Rainie’s idea), Callum gathers the basics, essentials – unlike, Ben he’s a little more practical! Honey calls over to the couple,  
“Day off today, boys?” and Callum responds, filling her in with enough detail of their plans for the day, without going too far. “What about you, Ben? Car lot closed today, is it?” she enquires.  
No response. “Be-en?” she repeats, in her usual sing-songy tone. But Ben continues to turn beer bottles in his hands.  
“This one.” he finally decides, spinning around the see two very blank faces staring at him. “Are you paying for this, or what?” Ben continues, clearly flustered, placing the drinks on the counter, before exiting the shop and waiting for his boyfriend in the calming sun of the Tuesday afternoon. 

"I need to drop in to work. Jay needs me," Ben insists. And before Callum can offer so much as a hug or a kiss goodbye, Ben's gone. 

In an attempt to hide is frustrstions at his now almost complete inability to hear, Ben steers clear of the flat for the rest of day, overcome with guilt at keeping it from the love of his life. Instead, he envelopes himself in customers, tradesmen and car dealers, covering his hearing loss by slapping on his geezer charm and leading every conversation. But by 3pm he's physically and mentally drained, so finally heads for home.

***

That evening, the odd-bod family of four are sharing a homecooked meal, which had been lovingly prepared by Callum and Rainie, while Ben and Stuart had shared in a pint or two and watched the latest news from Number 10 unfold on the TV (subtitles on partly for Ben, partly because it irritates Stuart). 

Conversation around the dinner table is bright and light-spirited, steering clear of all talk of lockdowns or global panic, and in the quiet of their little pink flat, Ben can make out enough from the muffled voices and catch enough by lipreading, to follow the conversation, but just doesn’t have the energy to engage. The effort of listening all day has drained him and he sighs audibly, a clear sign to his boyfriend that his brain has had enough. Callum gently rubs Ben’s back - a silent, understood sign that Callum has recognised his need to switch off from the world and just...be. But Callum’s concern for Ben’s uncharacteristically withdrawn state is etched across his face, and he can’t fight the urge to ask, 

“You’re so quiet tonight. You have been all day. There’s something wrong with your hearing, isn’t there? More wrong than usual? I know you. I know when you’re struggling. You can’t hide from me. I don’t want you to.” Between the speech and the signs, Ben catches every word and his lip begins to tremble.  
“Ahem, these pots need washing, don’t they Stuart,” Rainie declares, jumping up from her seat and glaring down at her boyfriend.  
“But I ain’t finished!” Stuart argues, but soon gets the hint, with a little help from Rainie’s evil eye, and the two clear the dishes away from the table, as quickly as possible.  
Callum and Ben never break eye-contact in the whole time the other couple are busying with plates and cutlery. They hold each other in a silent connection, both waiting for the other to begin. 

“It’s gone,” Ben admits. “My hearing is all gone.” But he quickly follows with, “But it will come back...well, some of it.” and he finally breaks the connection, lowers his gaze to the floor and waits. Until Callum’s big, strong hand appears under his chin and lifts his head until their eyes lock again, and Callum utters,  
“I know,” he nods. He places his hands gently over Ben’s ears, showing he understands the pain of listening, and blocks out all sounds for his soul mate. He mouths, without sound, ‘I love you’ and it’s the loudest thing Ben has heard all day. 

But Callum’s attention is suddenly and unceremoniously snapped away with Stuart rushing to the intercom phone. A voice on the other end, with a thick, heavy accent explains that he is an old friend of Ben’s, just popping round on the off chance for a socially distanced cuppa and a catch up. Being invited in with a buzz of the door release, the visitor makes his way up the stairs, boots clomping purposefully so even Ben can feel the approach through the floor, until he stands in clear view, looming from the doorway of the top step. 

“Hello, chicken.”


	2. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The uninvited visitor brings unwanted information.  
> Can the pair survive the blast?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Dee - the ultimate cheerleader.  
> Thank you so much. I wouldn't have come this far with you.

Clenched fists. Locked jaw. Widened eyes. In a heartbeat, Callum sees Ben’s minute micro-reactions and is on his feet. Like a knight springing to the defence of his wounded steed, Callum is up and stepping in front of his partner, reaching behind him to clutch his hand in his own, stroking his thumb across the back of Ben’s hand, a silent, reassuring motion of “I’ve got this”, even though he doesn’t actually know what ‘this’ is!

The northerner in the doorway begins speaking and gesticulating wildly, arms flailing and a smirk of utter contempt etched across his face, pointing viciously at Ben, but the accent is so thick and foreign to Ben that he catches almost none of whatever it is Danny has to say. But Callum gets the lot. The full, hideous story of the warehouse job gone wrong - the cash, the gun.

In the shadow of his boyfriend, Ben is protected, not only from the ranting, cursing and threats of the uninvited guest, but from the changing look on Callum's face. Defiance to disappointment.

His thumb ceases to move. The comfort it had brought is replaced by unease and finally isolation as Callum releases his grasp, unceremoniously evicts the unwanted intruder and takes his place on the top step, staring down at Ben.

Ben waits, small and vulnerable at the foot of his statuesque boyfriend, monolith and filling the doorway.  
“We need to talk,” Callum signs, slowly and deliberately, and he ushers Ben to their bedroom like a child in need of time out. The door slams and Stuart and Rainie are left in the silence of the living room, none the wiser.

***

“You lied to me! You lied to my face. Repeatedly! You and your bloody daddy complex!” Callum hurls at Ben, from the wardrobe.  
“What?” Ben pleads, his eyes red and swollen, his hands clutching Callum’s backpack to his chest.

Lighting fast and with a face full of anger, Callum whips around and signs,  
'You. Broke. This. You. Lied.’

Ben mumbles and fumbles signs, trying desperately to find the words, the signs, the anything that will make this better, that will bring Callum back to him, back just 20 minutes when they connected with no words needed.

Now there is a gaping chasm between them and Ben reaches out of hand to Callum’s shoulder – a bridge across the canyon – but his attempt is slapped away as Callum yells,  
“NO! I’m worth more than this. I’m worth more than your lies.”

Silence, as the men breath in time, heavy and loaded with sadness. Callum sees the confusion in Ben’s face. Regardless of the situation, Callum will never ostracise or penalise Ben because he can’t hear.

So, feeling the weight of his heart breaking, Callum takes Ben’s hand, places it on his chest and quietly, clearly, calmly says,  
“I know what I deserve. I deserve better than this,” and he breaks away, collecting the clothes strewn across the floor.

“I’ve got your bag. You can’t go anywhere,” Ben smirks, voice full of hope and expectation, but his chipper tone is returned and flattened in the air as Callum replies,

“These are yours.”

***

Finding Ben slouched on the sofa when he arrives home, Phil can’t hide his smile at the thought of the copper finally being out of the picture, no longer tainting the Mitchell family name. A standard heart-to-heart ensues between the father and son.

“Gone? Can’t say I’m sorry to see the back of the liability.”  
“Yeah. Sure. It was never gonna work anyway, was it, really? I mean, what was I thinking, ey?” Ben stammers, biting his lip and rubbing his forehead, masking the tears forming in his puffy eyes.

‘Drink?’ Phil signs, saying the word ‘pub?’ in his son’s direction, showing off that he’s learned a sign. Ben smiles. It might not be much, but he appreciates that his dad is trying. It’s better than nothing. And the pair saunter off to the Vic, one to celebrate, one to commiserate, but only one to drink away the pain.

***  
The next day, at the station, Callum is on desk duty and well and truly distracted, which doesn’t go unnoticed; colleagues have been sticking post-it notes to his back for the last hour!

Finally realising that the uncontrollable giggling from the desk behind is at his expense, PC Highway sighs,  
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, guys! Really? Grow up!” and eventually refocuses on the screen in front of him.

His vision clearing, he does a double take, looks around him to see if anyone else is watching, rewinds the footage and zooms in for a clearer view. He checks the time and location of the CCTV footage and, like some kind of hideous jigsaw, all the pieces fall into place. That face on the screen, the revelations of the night before. It’s proof.

It’s Ben.

Callum’s heart reacts and takes control of his body before his head has chance to intervene and think things through.

Delete.

A shadow looms over the screen.  
“I saw that.”


End file.
